The crew arrives in Nedrill and gets to business. Vantajar gets checked in. Gunny gets coffee, but the effects are not what she expected. Amos realizes he's finally a captain and starts to break down. Tilly researches the runes. And Tychus tries to make a profit.
Tychus: Boston accent
Tilly: Low, droning.
Amos: Australian accent.
Gunny: High pitched and excited.
Vantajar: English- sweeping and extravagant
Scott: Someone keeps bonking their boom stand.
Stephanie: It wasn't me.
Jake: I don't have one.
Scott: Here's a tip: Don't bonk it. Just don't bonk it. Another one, Jake and I were talking about it
Stephanie: Woah. That was me. I'm... *trails off*
Steve: Holy shit!
Scott: See. See? Don't bonk it. Just don't bonk it.
*Intro music- Bongos and guitar- upbeat, exciting*
Steve: Hello and welcome to today's episode of Shocking Gasp: A D&D podcast. Today we are introducing ourselves in the order of, how many of our prelude episodes were downloaded individually. I'm Steve, I play Amos, unfortunately I have to go first, because I've only had 32 downloads, which are the least amount. Which I'm very sad about.
Steve: Please Jake, take it away or I'm going to cry.
Jake: Good morning! This is Jake, and I'll be playing Tilly, and I had 33 downloads. So I'm 1 better than Steve.
Alex: Hey everybody, this is Alex, I'll be playing Tychus today, and I had 35 downloads.
Scott: Hello, I'm Scott the Dungeon Master, I'll be playing the entire world, and my episode had 37 total downloads.
Stephanie: I'm Stephanie, I'll be playing Gunny and I had 40 downloads, because Gunny's the best character.
Stephanie: It's true. IT'S TRUE.
Alex: Jake and Steve, I'm sure you can agree with me that there was download collusion between Gunny and the DM and that's the only reason we lost.
Scott: Oh yeah.
Stephanie: We'll just download each other's episodes on every platform we can.
Steve: I rue the day I downloaded Scott and Gunny's prelude.
Scott: So, there might be something to that, because I had to download Gunny's episode probably 9 times?
Stephanie: OH COME ON!
Scott: On all the distributor hubs, to make sure it worked.
Stephanie: That puts me in last place!
Steve: Last place!
Scott: So like, there's definitely some numbers skew down here while we were testing the kinks out.
Jake: Redo it.
Jake: Steph goes first.
Scott: No. It doesn't count. It's official. It's official. Plus, we don't have time to redo it, because it's time to play the recap.
Stephanie (as Gunny): So she'll go up to the bar and hop up on one of the stools and ask the bartender, "Do you guys serve coffee?"
Scott (as NPC): I'm sorry, I don't know where you could go to find coffee.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Does anybody know where I can get some freakin' coffee?
Scott: And as you look around you see that carved into the deck, your armor, anything within reach, there are runes. They appear to be a language that none of you can ready and surrounding all these runes are X's.
Jake: Tilly's gonna get his notebook and start drawing these runes down.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Do you think this has anything to do with Herman?
Alex (as Tychus): I think everything bad that's happened to us recently has to do with that Herman Fourman character.
Jake (as Tilly): What about Nidri?
Alex (as Tychus): So we all saw Nidri is just gone now. I feel like people are gonna be asking questions about that when news starts to travel.
Stephanie (as Gunny): But Vantajar didn't remember Nidri.
Jake (as Tilly): No, he was unaware of its existence.
Stephanie (as Gunny): When we get to Nedrill, will somebody help me take Vantajar to a doctor?
Scott (in Jersey accent): Nah, we're gonna let him die.
Scott: So you guys are sailing on your boat. And you get up closer towards Nidri. And you see that right next to where a river comes flowing out from the inland and deposits into the ocean, that's kind of where Nidri decided to make its home. So it doesn't span the river, it's just on one side. So it's-
Stephanie: Wait Nedrill?
Scott: Nedrill, sorry. Good catch. Where natural decided to make it home. It is bordered then on the south and western side. The western side would be the ocean. The southern side would be the river. And then to the north and east is just, you know, open country. There's a couple roads heading out- one heads out along the river and the other main road heads out kind of going in a northeasterly direction. As you sail your ship closer, you can kind of see that the town is- it's mostly just one and two story buildings. It appears to be built around a large market square. The buildings are all made of just wood and plaster. Really nothing too terribly fancy about the town that just seems like a kind of run of the mill town. Judging from the size of it, you estimate that it's probably about 2,000, people live in this town. And other than that you begin to sail your ship towards the docks.
You guys come pulling into port. Amos, you know first thing you got to take that paperwork over to the Harbormaster.
Jake: Tilly will go with him.
Steve: We also grab and take Vantajar us. We go over to the Harbormaster.
Scott: He'd have to be on a stretcher. But yeah, yeah.
Steve: Yeah, I mean try to find a cart and like, you know, so when we get to the Harbor Master. We're like, “Hey here's our papers, but we need-“
Stephanie: We gotta go!
Steve: Medical attention for a little buddy and so forth.
Stephanie: Hang in there little buddy.
Steve: So yes, we can. That's what I do. Is there a cart nearby?
Scott: Yeah, you can find some sort of wagon-
Stephanie: Or Gunny could carry him.
Scott: Wheel barrel or something.
Steve: We're going- we're moving very quickly because Amos is actually, you know, pretty concerned.
Scott: You all go wheeling Vantajar in wheelbarrow. Poor little guy. He's like- every time you go over a bump. He's like, "Ooh! Oh! Ow!"
Alex (as Tychus): Hey, you're fine! We put the blood back in you're good!
Stephanie: That's how it works.
Scott: You get into the Harbor Master and he looks at you and he's like,"Hello."
Jake (as Tilly): Hello.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Hi!
Steve (as Amos): Hey, we got our little friend here. We need medical attention as fast as we can. I think our papers are in order. Can we get through it quickly as possible? And do you know anywhere we can take him?
Scott (as Harbormaster): He takes the papers from you. "Yes, there's a temple in town of Ashiati that you could take them to and they provide excellent healing. But I will need at least one of you to stay here while we check in your boat. I believe three people would be enough to wheel the young halfling up to that temple."
Steve: Three people. So like, who's with me? Jake and Gunny?
Stephanie: Ashiati is one of those gods or goddesses you came up with?
Scott: Yeah. Ashiati is the goddess of birth, life, and health. And her symbol is a silver linden leaf with the stem pointed downward.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Who wants to stay? I want to be with Vantajar. I feel bad for him. I hope he's gonna be okay.
Alex: Tychus can stay, he didn't have anything pressing to do in town.
Steve (as Amos): "Tychus, you stay behind, make sure everything's in order with this man. We're going to go up to the temple." And I'm just going to take off and like I'm taking off, pushing the cart.
Jake (as Tilly): We're away!
Alex (as Tychus): As you guys all run off, Tychus just like looks at the harbormaster, he's like, "So uh, what you need?"
Scott (as harbormaster): First off, let me look through these papers. So I'm assuming- are you this captain? Amos?
Alex (as Tychus): Nah, that would be- that'd be the guy that was really concerned about the halfling. He's a good friend of his, he wanted to get him there. He's the captain, not me.
Scott (as harbormaster): Okay, so then you would be...
Alex (as Tychus): Oh, my name. My name is Tychus Gemcutter.
Scott (as harbormaster): Okay. Tychus. All right. So what brings you to Nedrill?
Alex (as Tychus): We just recently were brought onto crew this boat by the owner there, Tordeck Fireforge, and we're interested in possibly doing some cargo shipping to get a return on the investment, you know, just purchasing this boat.
Scott (as harbormaster): Do you have any cargo to unload?
Alex (as Tychus): No, not yet. We are just starting. Fledgling crew really.
Scott (as harbormaster): Really, and you're from Solarion?
Alex (as Tychus): Yes.
Scott (as harbormaster): Quite a haul from Solarion down here for a boat of that size. And you brought no cargo?
Alex (as Tychus): Correct. Yes.
Scott (as harbormaster): Little obscure.
Alex (as Tychus): I mean, I got to be honest. I'm not I'm not the brains behind the operation. I just kind of you know, I'm on the crew. We just do what we're told.
Scott: Roll a deception.
Scott (as harbormaster): Nice. He goes, "Well, I suppose that makes sense. I don't claim to know the minds of Lords." He says, "All right, we'll have to send a crew out to inspect your boat. Just make sure you're not bringing on any contraband. If you could we'd like you to be a long as we do that. And other than that the birth rate is five gold for every seven days and that's a five gold flat fee. So even if you left tomorrow, you're still paying us to 5, but you can stay up to 7."
Alex (as Tychus): Uh, do we gotta pay that five gold now or do we pay when we leave?
Scott (as harbormaster): Up front.
Alex (as Tychus): "Oh, okay" Rummages around in his coin purse, "There you go."
Scott: Do- Did you have five gold?
Alex: I do.
Scott: Good. All right. So he takes the gold and all that's going to happen is you'll get escorted down to your boat and there'll be a couple dock workers that they just run on and almost immediately, they're going to look around and be like, "Wow, you really don't have any cargo." And then, you know, they'll leave and you'll be free to catch up to the others. Which we will jump over to them now. So you guys are new in this town. And as you're walking around you have to ask for people where this Temple of Ashiati is I think people seeing the wounded Vantajar. Like- it's- they're just going to direct you straight to where it is. There's not going to be any checks required. As you're moving towards the temple, you do notice that, indeed, this town is built around a great market square. And eventually you come up on the Temple of Ashiati and it's a very plain single story building. It’s not overly decorated or anything like that and it's just got some sign hanging above the door that just says Ashiati or the house of Ashiati or something along those lines, and you guys go plunging inside with your wounded wheelbarrow friend.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Help! Somebody help our friend!
Steve: Is there anybody just like in there? Standing in there?
Scott (as clergyman): Yeah, they'll be a couple people standing around and a clergyman comes walking over. He's a regular looking dude wearing some brown robes and he comes walking up and he goes, "Yes, can I help you?"
Stephanie (as Gunny): Vanty! He got hurt. He needs help!
Steve (as Amos): "Our friend here was attacked by a lizard folk and needs-" I think I'm Tychus right now, "And need attention." Ugh, I'm off my game. Keep going Gunny.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Please help! Mister, can you help him? WE PUT THE BLOOD BACK BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT WORKED.
Scott: *laughing* Steve just quit!
Steve: Yeah, I literally just sunk my shoulders in shame and bowed my head under my microphone. And like had my head in my hands, like why? Why do I suck? I understand why I only have 32 downloads! *fake crying*
Scott: Tilly, what did you ask?
Jake: Tilly was going to see if he knew some sort of like, the greeting for the Ashiati worshippers or if he had any idea of like, you know, knew anything about that particular temple.
Scott: You're asking the clergyman if he knows about the temple he works in?
Jake: No. No I'm asking if Tilly would know anything about like Ashiati or the worshippers of Ashiati.
Scott: Roll a religion check.
Scott: So you know that Ashiati is the goddess of birth, life, and health...
Scott: ...And that her symbols is a silver linden leaf, stem down.
Steve: I love when Scott does that.
Scott (as clergyman): He looks down at Vantajar, and he goes, "Oh my, this looks rather serious." And he kind of- he spreads the clothes aside and he looks at the wound in his gut and he's like, "Yes. Yeah, we'll take care of him right away." And he turns around and he snaps his fingers and he calls some people over. And they come running over with bandages and, you know, try and look at it. And they're like, "Do you know if the weapon that the lizard folk were using was it- Do you know if it was poisonous or anything?"
Stephanie (as Gunny): We don't know! I have no idea.
Steve (as Amos): We don't know it was a knife and then they were using the claws.
Scott (as clergyman): And he looks- he looks at it and he's like, "These look like human track marks as if two people were scrambling to reassemble his guts. Is- Do you know what happened there?"
Steve (as Amos): Yeah, we're not- we're not doctors.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Yeah, we tried our best.
Scott (as clergyman): Yeah that didn't happen. I just thought it'd be funny. They say- they take him back and they're like, "We'll do what we can. Check- check back in an hour or so and we'll let you know."
Stephanie (as Gunny): Maybe if you have coffee, maybe give him coffee it might make him feel better. Okay?
Scott (as clergyman): Yes. Yeah. We'll take care of him.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Thank you.
Scott (as clergyman): Yeah, just come back. We'll let you know.
Stephanie (as Gunny): When should we come back?
Scott (as clergyman): In an hour.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Ok. Alright. Okay. Guys, I'm really worried. That didn't look good. I don't think his intestines were supposed to be sticking out like that.
Jake (as Tilly): Not usually.
Stephanie (as Gunny): I think they generally go inside the body.
Steve (as Amos): "At least we got the blood back in-" Did I just go Jewish?
Stephanie: *attempting to sound like Larry David* Hey, at least I got the blood back.
Scott: *trying to sound like a New York Jewish person* Oy, the blood!
Steve: The blood is back in!
Stephanie: *horrible accent, hang your head in shame* But, he's got a little bit of Schmutz on his face.
Scott: *Jerry Seinfeld impersonation* What's the deal with the blood?
Jake: *what is happening* He's a mensch. I tell you he's a mensch.
Steve: Oh I like that one.
Stephanie: Oh Jesus.
Jake: No, they don't believe in him.
Jake: Uh, anyway.
Steve: Amos is going to step and walk outside and he's basically going to look for the nearest bar. Maybe head down back towards the docks.
Scott: All right, what do the rest of you do?
Steve: He's not going to say a whole bunch.
Jake (as Tilly): Tilly was gonna try to pester the guy before he walked away and kind of show him some of the runes and see if he knows anything. So like as he's walking away, he's going to walk up, "Sir. Sir. Can you take a look at these? Have you seen anything like this or know anywhere where we could research them?"
Scott (as clergyman): He turns and looks at you and he goes, "I appreciate your curiosity but perhaps right now I should be focusing my attention on your friend."
Jake (as Tilly): I thought that's what those other people were doing.
Scott (as clergyman): No- I'm. I'm following them.
Jake (as Tilly): Ah, okay. Yes. Thank you.
Alex: Does Tychus catch up with them while they're still interacting with this guy?
Scott: Yeah. Sure.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Guys. Do you think that Nedrill has coffee?
Jake (as Tilly): They probably have Hot Dragon Milk.
Stephanie (as Gunny): I don't think I want any more of that. Although, it did help me make friends! That was cool. What do you guys want to do? We gotta- we gotta do something to take our minds off of Vanty. I can't just sit here waiting for an hour. I'll go crazy.
Jake (as Tilly): Tilly starts walking towards any library or anything he can find.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Bye Tilly!
Alex (as Tychus): Tychus will try and grab Tilly before he goes, and kind of under his breath, be like, "Do you wanna, when you're doing your research and stuff... You should see if Nidri's still on any of the maps. You know, in town. See if it's still there. I mean, no one seems to know it exists. Is there any records of it? You should take a look, see what we see."
Jake (as Tilly): Yes. That's a great point Thank you. Thank you.
Stephanie: Can you learn healing during the game? Like while he's in the library studying? Can he be like, "Hmm. So this is what you should do when somebody's bleeding out. Now. I know what to do."
Scott: There are feats. So every fourth level you gain an ability score and you can take a feat. And there are feats that give you proficiencies in skills.
Stephanie: Got it.
Alex: I believe we have clearly shown, we know how to heal. You put blood back in.
Steve: Yeah, you put it back in. He's still alive.
Scott: You guys nailed it.
Stephanie: I guess that's true.
Scott: So are you guys- you guys are splitting the party right now is what I'm feeling? Tilly's going to do some research.
Steve: Anybody's welcome to follow Amos, but he just kind of turned around and went outside.
Scott: Tychus. What are you going to do?
Alex: I'd probably go with Amos at this point. I don't have anything that I really need to get done.
Stephanie: Bars might have coffee, right?
Scott: Uh, yeah.
Stephanie: Gunny'll stick with them.
Scott: Alright. Amos, Tychus, and Gunny all go heading off for a bar. And for whatever reason you're all following behind Amos. And Amos' feet almost subconsciously immediately lead him towards the slum part of town. The lower end, bottom barrel type bar. And in the middle of the slums you come across a tavern. It's surrounded not by market shops, but market stalls, little impromptu ramshackle stalls. And hanging above the doors is a sign that says The Mug and Wing. And this tavern is a wooden two-story building. It's got an orange shingled roof and shiny hardwood floors. And when you walk inside, you see that there is surprisingly a beautiful oak countertop and a large stew pot hanging over a fire. And behind the counter is what appears to be a male elf working at cleaning some tankards out. It is a little after midday when you guys got here, so the room isn't very full.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Mmm that smells good.
Steve: Well, Amos is going directly to the bar to order a beer from the little elf bartender.
Scott (as Ivellios): He turns around and you see that he is- he's wearing a collared shirt and a scarf wrapped over his head and as he turns around you see him, he kind of subconsciously reaches up and tucks his ears under the scarf. His clothes are stained with grease in places and he wears crescent spectacles with a black rim. And he turns and looks at you and he goes "Oh, oh sorry. Sorry. I, yes, how can I- what can I get you?"
Stephanie (as Gunny): I like your scarf!
Scott (as Ivellios): He looks as Gunny and he says, "Thank you."
Steve (as Amos): Well, I'd like to I'd like a beer, it's been a little of a difficult morning.
Scott (as Ivellios): Any particular kind of beer?
Steve (as Amos): Whatever you got that's the strongest will do fine.
Scott (as Ivellios): Okay. And are you guys- would you like food with that? Or you just looking for the ale?
Stephanie (as Gunny): What's in the pot? It smells really yummy.
Scott (as Ivellios): Oh that is owlbear stew. We have a special today: Owlbear stew with garden greens and a tankard of cider.
Stephanie (as Gunny): That sounds yummy. What's a owlbear?
Scott (as Ivellios): If you don't know, count yourself fortunate, they are ferocious beasts that wander the wilderness. Surprisingly a cross between an owl and a bear. So...
Stephanie (as Gunny): Are they yummy?
Scott (as Ivellios): Yes! They are- they are actually fairly delicious.
Stephanie (as Gunny): I will try it!
Scott (as Ivellios): Okay.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Also, where'd you get your scarf? I think it's really pretty. Did you buy it at a place near here? I would like one like it.
Scott (as Ivellios): Yeah, actually I bought this- there's a store just down the road called (N)Eldvin's Emporium. It isn't in this side of town. But you know, if you go in there, they have all sorts of nice items for you to purchase. They're kind of a general store. But yes, I- this is where I got my scarf.
Stephanie (as Gunny): You seem to know a lot. Do you know if there's coffee in this town or do you sell coffee?
Scott (as Ivellios): Yeah, actually I do sell coffee.
Stephanie (as Gunny): *gasps* Can I try some?
Scott (as Ivellios): Sure. Let me- let me get you your stew and this man's ale. And I'll bring you back your cup of coffee.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Yes! Tychus, do you want anything?
Alex (as Tychus): I'll take a beer.
Scott (as Ivellios): "Two beers coming up." He moves off and he begins pouring the ales and pouring the cider that comes with your stew and he gets you a pot of stew and he comes back. And so he sets down two ales, pot of stew, a tankard of cider, and a cup of some sort of steaming black liquid.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Guys, I'm so excited! This is gonna be so good! Have you guys ever tried it? You guys want to taste some too?
Steve: I think Amos is just going to look at Gunny kinda like with a raised eyebrow and maybe something almost starting to look like a frown on his face.
Stephanie (as Gunny): What?!
Alex (as Tychus): Tychus is like, "You know, I'd never heard of coffee before, and had no desire to learn about coffee. But being with you over these last, you know couple of days, I actually find myself really wanting to try it as well. Your excitement has spread to me."
Stephanie (as Gunny):" Okay! Yesss! I'll take a sip and then I'll give it to you and you can try it. And then we can compare notes. All right." She's gonna take a sip.
Scott: Okay, she takes a little sip of coffee and Stephanie, I think you've been waiting up for this... So why don't you go ahead and describe Gunny's experience taking her first sip of coffee.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Her entire body shutters and her eyes roll back and she's like, "Oooh. That was so good! You gotta try this Tychus" And she passes the cup to him.
Scott: She turns to pass the cup to Tychus, and Tychus reaches his hand out to take it, and then Gunny immediately brings the cup back and starts drinking more of it.
Stephanie (as Gunny): I gotta have more. I'm sorry Tychus, you got to get your own.
Alex (as Tychus): *stuttering confusion*
Stephanie (as Gunny): Get your own Tychus.
Alex (as Tychus): *frustrate resignation*
Stephanie (as Gunny): Sorry, this is mine. I like it. I think I found my new favorite thing in the entire world.
Scott: In between words, she is taking sips and eventually she reaches a point where she's just looking at Tychus over the brim of the cup and she is chugging this whole cup of coffee.
Stephanie: *chugging sounds*
Scott: And, Gunny, all of a sudden you feel a jolt of energy go coursing through your entire body and you just get amped up. It's like the whole world goes electric, you know, everything is moving slower, actually, like when you look at the other people, they're moving a little bit slower than they were before.
Stephanie (as Gunny): *speaking very quickly* Guys. What are we gonna do about being Vantajar? I'm so worried about Vantajar. We gotta figure out what these runes are? I don't know what they are. I'm so worried! And then we got to run away from this thing that we don't even know what it is. And there's people! They touched us! And we saw things! And we heard things! And what are we going to do? *panting* Does anybody feel light-headed?
Steve: That's pretty good.
Alex: My general silence and response is exactly how I think Tychus would be like uuugh.
Steve: Amos' jaw is on the floor. It's like it's open on the floor.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Has it been an hour yet?
Scott (as Ivellios): The bartender is standing there watching all this and he goes, "So that's six silver for you little lady." And he looks to the other two of you and he's like, "Two silver for the ales from you guys."
Stephanie (as Gunny): So Gunny's gonna cough it up. "Thank you, Mister."
Scott: The whole time he's still looking kind of side-eyes at Gunny a little bit.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Is there a way for me to take some of this stuff to go and like keep it with me? Does it keep well? Can I take it with me on my travels?
Jake: There's a glass called Ye Olde Yeti and only with that glass...
Stephanie: And it keeps it warm!
Steve: How does it know?
Scott: The mystical tankard of the Great Wizard Yeti.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Wow!
Scott (as Ivellios): Seek it on the highest mountains in the coldest part of the world, and there you will find your bottomless cup of coffee.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh, where is that?
Scott: Is what you imagine he says because he's talking so slow, you can't even focus on what he's saying. And you remember he asked for coins, so you pull your coins out and you go to give it to him. And you try to just casually toss it up onto the counter but you end up like throwing it at 90 miles an hour baseball pitchers speeds
Stephanie: The coins stick into the wall.
Scott (as Ivellios): Yeah, and they just fly into this guy's chest, like *doo doo doo doo?* And he's like "Argh! Ah. What? What!?"
Stephanie (as Gunny): "Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Oh my God. Are you okay? Are you okay?!" And she's gonna come up to him and like, she'll jump up on the bar, and like give him a hug. And like, maybe she knocks his scarf off a little bit and she gives him a big hug. She's like, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you. Do you want more money?"
Scott: So I need you to roll a strength check with advantage.
Stephanie: Well, that's a fumble. So I got a 13 for my second one.
Scott: So you got a 13, good. Mechanically speaking, what's going on here is I'm tweaking Gunny's class. She was supposed to be a barbarian. But Stephanie and I talked about it, and it kind of we didn't think it made sense for Gunny to have this bottomless rage to fuel her Barbarianism so Gunny's going to be fueled by coffee and we are creating the class-
I think we'd said we're going to call it a Baristabarian.
Alex: The Baristabarian?!
Stephanie: Or a Barbarista!
Scott: Or a Barbarista! We don't know yet. We'll put that up to vote for the fans to- Baristabarian or Barbarista. But the mechanic, what's going on here, is when she drinks coffee that's what triggers essentially her rage effect. So Gunny is basically in a rage right now. So everything is looking a little slower, her reaction time is faster. She's a bit stronger-
Stephanie: And she's strangling the elf...
Steve: Really happy rage. Really so happy.
Scott: When she went to help the guy, like she went to set the cup down and when she set it down she smashed it on the counter, and then in one leap, she jumped up onto the counter top. So you gotta think like, the counter tops probably three and a half feet high or something? Gunny's only three feet tall. So she just leaped her entire vertical height.
Steve: Basically it looks like she's attacking the guy because she smashes her cup down and jumps up and starts to choke him.
Scott: Yeah, so she throws the coins at him.
Stephanie: But she's saying she's so sorry the whole time.
Scott: She throws the coins at him, smashes her cup, leaps up onto the counter and then dives onto him and begins squeezing him in a bear hug saying she's sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The entire time. What do the rest of you guys do?
Stephanie: Are you going to stop her from killing someone?
Steve (as Amos): "I've seen this before but usually not coffee." And he's going to climb up on the bar and try to pull her off of the poor little elf.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Scott (as Ivellios): He's struggling to breathe as you got him in this hug and he's like, "*gasp* Help! Please. St- *gasp*"
Stephanie (as Gunny): I'll help you! What do you need help with! I can help you!
Scott (as Ivellios): *gasping* Stop!
Stephanie (as Gunny): It's okay. I'm here. Do you want coffee? Will coffee make you feel better?
Scott (as Ivellios): *gasping* No coffee.
Steve (as Amos): Hey, we need to get you off of this guy.
Stephanie (as Gunny): What?!
Scott: Amos roll a strength check. Gunny you roll a strength check as well with advantage. Amos you're trying to pry her off of this guy.
Stephanie: Oh no. I got a 20.
Steve: I got a 6.
Scott: So Amos, you come up and like, you put all your might, like you grab her by her little arm and like your hands are going to wrap all the way around her arm. And you're pulling as hard as you can, and you feel the corded muscle of her bicep just tense as she doubles down and she's just hugging this guy even harder. And you don't get her to budge at all.
Alex (as Tychus): Tychus is gonna be like, "Gunny, let him go. Let him go!"
Stephanie (as Gunny): What?!
Alex: And then I'm going to try and help Amos.
Scott: Everybody roll strength- So Amos and Gunny roll strength checks again, both of you have advantage. I love hearing them D20s roll.
Scott: You manage to get her- not all the way off, but you pry one arm off and she's not just clenched on to the back of the guy's shirt. And he can breathe again. And he'll reach up at that point and like put his hand under her face and push her head backwards.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Ah! What are you doing?!
Scott: The three of you combined forcibly end Gunny's super strong hug.
Stephanie (as Gunny): What's all that about?
Steve (as Amos): Uh, you're attacking the bartender.
Stephanie (as Gunny): What!? I was trying to help him!
Steve (as Amos): Eh. No.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Are you okay Mister Bartender?
Scott: The jolt of energy that the coffee brought you begins to wear off already and everything returns to normal speed and, you know, the super clarity that you were previously seeing the world with comes down and you begin to look around and you see the broken cup and you see the guy like struggling to gain his breath and it starts to dawn on you that maybe what Amos just said is right. Maybe you were attacking this guy.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry.
Steve (as Amos): What happened when you took that drink of that coffee?
Stephanie (as Gunny): I don't know what happened. I just felt really good. Like I felt awesome.
Steve (as Amos): Oh, it was awesome.
Alex (as Tychus): Tychus pulls out 10 silver real quick and like slides it over to the bartender and is like, "Eh, sorry about that. First time on the coffee for that one. She didn't quite know how to handle it I guess."
Stephanie (as Gunny): Does that happen to everybody when they drink it?
Scott: Roll a diplomacy or a persuasion.
Scott (as Ivellios): Okay. So you slide your 10 gold over and you explain to him, and he looks at you and he's like, "Yeah, it's- I mean, I think I'm just a little bruised, don't think she did anything, but- My, lady that was that was intense! Ugh!" And as he's like looking at her and looking at it, he slides all the coins across the table and puts them in his register.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Mr. Bartender, I'm really sorry. Also, what's your name? I don't know your name and I feel really bad calling you Mr. Bartender when I just almost hurt you.
Scott (as Ivellios): Uh, yeah. No, it's okay. I think I'll be all right. I- you can call me Ivellios Meldrith. Wow. That was-
Stephanie (as Gunny): Hi Ivellios.
Scott (as Ivellios): That was something else. You- you jumped clean up onto the counter there like you didn't have a running start or anything.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Yeah, I'm strong like that.
Scott (as Ivellios): Yeah, you know, I think I think I know a couple people that, you know, might be interested in having some muscle work, you know, if you're interested. I could find you a job, I think.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Will they pay me coffee?
Scott (as Ivellios): Lil' lady if that's what you do on coffee. I think they'll pay you by the gallon.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Okay!
Alex: Did she knock off his scarf on his head?
Scott: I don't know. Let's roll a percentile. Alex you roll one, I'll roll one if you're lower than me it came off.
Scott: I got a 75. All right. So yeah. Yeah, the scarf is knocked off on the ground and you see he's got very long elf ears.
Alex (as Tychus): I kind of like make a gesture, you know, "Your scarf fell down there, just a- just a heads up."
Scott (as Ivellios): He shoots his hand up, "Oh!"
Stephanie (as Gunny): Your ears are pretty! They're a lot longer than Amos'!
Scott (as Ivellios): Oh gosh. Oh, dear me. Oh, dear.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Why are you covering them up?
Scott (as Ivellios): He puts his scarf back on real quick. And he goes, "Well." He kind of looks around and he looks at you guys...
Alex (as Tychus): It is pretty cold. I get why you'd wanna keep your head warm. I get it. I get it.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh. Should I- should I cover my ears?
Scott: Are any of you- So we spoke in my interview for the world, that there was 70 years ago-ish- That there was a major conflict where the elves were persecuted all across Alduria.
Scott: So you guys have the choice now to decide which side of that your characters were on. My question to you is: Are any of you hostile towards elves?
Stephanie: Amos is part elf.
Alex: Tychus is not.
Steve: Amos is not.
Stephanie: Gunny isn't hostile toward anybody.
Scott: Unless she's on coffee.
Alex: Other than this bartender after she drinks coffee.
Stephanie: Not on purpose. Unless somebody hurts her friends.
Scott: You keep saying Gunny's not hostile but you've been to two bars and in the first one, you broke someone's hand, and in this one you almost strangle the guy to death.
Stephanie: Not on purpose!
Steve: Ah hah, yeah. See!
Stephanie: She doesn't know her own strength.
Steve: That's exactly what a hostile person would say.
Scott (as Ivellios): Right. So he- I rolled an Insight check for him to see if he could gather your general mood and he like looks at you guys and he slowly brings the scarf down and he looks at you, Gunny, and he goes, "Oh, little miss, you- You must not know much of The Race Wars."
Stephanie (as Gunny): I heard of them. But I was a long time ago, wasn't it?
Scott (as Ivellios): "Hmm not long enough for some." And he- You can- He looks very somber now and he- You can tell by his eyes that he's taking a trip down memory lane.
Stephanie (as Gunny): I'm sorry!
Scott: And it doesn't look like a good particularly good lane.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Do you want to go do something fun?
Scott (as Ivellios): He says, "No, I have to tend this bar."
Steve: Are there are tables and things around like booths, just like a regular bar? It's not just the bar and the...
Scott (as Ivellios): Yeah, there's some tables and some chairs. He says, "You better get to your meal. I think it's- it's getting cold." And he turns back to go and tend to other stuff.
Alex: Is anybody like looking at us real funny from what happened? Or maybe mean mugging the bartender when he took his scarf off?
Scott: There's really no one- There's no one in the bar. It was just- yeah it was- You've already missed the lunch crowd. And so it was just you guys and he was cleaning up the bar which is why when you walked in he initially had the scarf off.
Steve (as Amos): Amos is going to kind of grab Gunny's arm and say, "We should all go sit down over at one of these tables."
Stephanie (as Gunny): Okay.
Steve: I sit down and start discussing with everything else.
*Intro music- Bongos and guitar- upbeat, exciting*
Scott: Hey everyone, it's me Scott the Dungeon Master. Because we record episodes a month or two in advance, it's pretty hard to sneak in updates as they come along. So we're going to take a page from other actual play podcasts, and start doing mini episode announcements. I hope you don't mind, you can always skip ahead, but we sure would appreciate if you took a moment to listen in. Today, I'm happy to announce that we are growing our social media presence so you can have even more ways to reach out to us. As you know, we are currently already on Twitter @ShockingGaspDnD. We are now also on Facebook and YouTube. Why YouTube? Well, we've started making these little one minute promo clips for each episode. If you're trying to talk a friend into listening- And a
BIG thank you if you are, feel free to share some of those as neat little teasers. We're always looking for ways to get your feedback and I'm a big supporter of listener involvement in the show. We, of course, have the hashtag #ShockingOrder that we use to introduce ourselves. But starting this month, we're going to start finding ways to include you even more. Coming up pretty soon, we are going to launch a pseudo giveaway to let participant winners create in-game NPCs, towns, magic items, and more. So keep an eye on Twitter and Facebook for updates about that. And if you want to see us on other social media platforms, just let us know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Finally, we have got some surprising feedback from a few listeners. It turns out some of you have never even played D&D before but you're still listening to our show, which is pretty fantastic! But unfortunately, these same folks don't know what's going on and that's kind of a bummer. So to help with that, I have created a special off-week episode called Intro to D&D that will explain the basic rules and lingo involved in this game. So if you found yourself confused a little bit, tune into that. If you know what's going on in the game, feel free to skip it. Thanks again to everyone that has taken the time to reach out and talk with us. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to get that feedback. I am in this to entertain, and reading comments from you all makes every minute spent on the show 100% worth it. So on behalf of myself and the rest of the Shocking Cast, thank you. Thank you so so very much. So, okay, enough with that. Let's get back to the episode.
*Intro music- Bongos and guitar- upbeat, exciting*
Scott: What is Tilly doing?
Jake: So he'll be walking around, probably, like he saw the three walk towards the lesser part of town, probably intuited that that's where they were going, and started walking the opposite direction towards more of the civilized part of the city.
Scott: Okay. And you're specifically looking for some sort of library or scholarly institution.
Jake: Or bookstore or apothecary or just any sort of any place of knowledge. A school.
Scott: I will have you roll an investigation check to find those. And for every five silver that you offer up to bolster that, I will give you a plus 1 up to a maximum of plus 5.
Jake: Every five silver you said?
Scott: Yeah. So if you put in two and a half gold you can get a +5 on the check.
Jake: Yeah, I've got 300 silver.
Scott: So that's twenty- are you putting all 25 silver into it?
Scott: Okay, so make your investigation check, add +5.
Jake: 16, 17, 22!
Scott: Okay, you go walking through the finer side of town and you begin walking up to people and, you know, you start out saying "Hey sir" and you're asking for help and most people they look at you only because of your startling height, but when you go to talk to them, some of them kind of just scurry on past and eventually once you start producing your coin, people will become more willing to speak with you. And at the end of your search, you have deposited 25 gold or 25 silver into the hands of the local folk, and you find out that there really isn't a university or school or anything and probably the most educated person in town that might be able to help you is- There is an alchemist located in the- what's generally called The Adventurers' District. So, just kind of the place where all the- all the people passing through town to get tend to gather.
Jake: I will head that way.
Scott: You find the alchemist in The Adventurers' District. And this whole district- it's like a mini-city with in this town, you know, so it's- instead of just being an entire commercial area or an entire residential area, it's kind of all of it mixed in. So there's taverns, there's stores, there's a few like temporary housing blocks and it's kind of its own, isolated town within the greater town of Nedrill. And the alchemist shop that you're looking for is called Fortune's Fortune. As you approach it, you detect a very very strange smell coming from this building. It is a simple brick building with a heather thatched roof and a small enclosed deck on the front. You see a number of crates stacked along the side of the building. And when you go walking inside, and you look around, it is decorated as you would expect a fantasy alchemist building. There are shelves and shelves and shelves all over the place filled with a wild variety of vials and flasks filled with anything from, you know, the finger of a troll, to a certain mushroom, to just dry herbs and spices. And as you walk up to the main counter, you notice that there is a female standing there, looks to be a tiefling and she is examining a large skull that is sitting on the desk.
Jake (as Tilly): Ma'am. Hello, that is quite a shocking gas that is emitting from your front door, I don't know if you are aware. It's quite pungent.
Scott: I see what you did there. Shocking Gasp! That's the name of the show! That's us!
Steve: Yeah. Pun. PUNgent.
Scott: Pungent odor!
Steve: We're so clever.
Scott: We lost all our listeners.
Scott (as alchemist): She looks up, she's of modest build and height, but you can tell that she were more imposing than she is. She's wearing a large tan cape that is intricately interwoven into a white robe. But startlingly, she has a auburn mohawk that draws your attention to her head and face. And as you look at her face, you see that it is marked all over with tiny scars and pockmarks and, you know, various small injuries from days gone by. She looks up to you and she says, "If you don't like the smell of my store, you don't have to be here."
Jake (as Tilly): Oh, no, I don't dislike it. I was just commenting on its pungency. I am Alner Gladdenstone and you are ma'am?
Scott (as alchemist): The proprietor of the store. Is there something that I can get you?
Jake (as Tilly): Yes, I was asking around town and they said the largest wealth of knowledge happened to be the alchemist and I believe that is you.
Scott (as alchemist): Yeah, that is me. So what? You're just looking for information? You going to buy anything?
Jake (as Tilly): Well, I think I'd like to speak with you about some of our experiences and see if you may be able to help us. Is that something that is- do you have time for that? Or?
Scott (as alchemist): "Ugh." She looks down...
Jake (as Tilly): And then I pull open my notebook and show her the runes.
Scott: She looks down at this skull- roll a little persuasion check along with opening that notebook.
Scott (as alchemist): Holy wow! She looks down at the skull she's working on and she's about to make an excuse about, you know, like 'I'm right in the middle of the work' and she didn't really like the way you walked into her store. So she already didn't really want to talk to you much. But then you scoot this notebook right in front of her face and she's like, "Look, I'm already in the middle of something and- Uh... Oh. And she reaches out and snatches the whole notebook from your hand and she immediately turns around so that her back is facing you and you can hear her flipping through pages. She's like, "Ah, very interesting."
Jake (as Tilly): Yes, so I lurch over top of her and say, "I could," and then grab the book back, "Explain more of how we came about these but if you're busy, I don't want to intrude."
Scott (as alchemist): She turns and she looks, she says, "All right, you've piqued my interest. What is that? What do you- what do you- what do you need?"
Jake (as Tilly): Well, I was hoping you may have some clue as well. So I won't say how we came about them. But let's say, a very powerful trip maybe? Was induced and we found these runes and you know, it's one of those that I'm not really sure what happened. Have you ever seen anything like these before?
Scott (as alchemist): "No, not this specific language actually." And she had motions you to put the notebook down on the counter so she can look at it again and she begins tracing her fingers over the runes and she's like, "I've never seen this specific language, but it is similar to an ancient text that I once saw in my studies." She goes, "So I can't read this but this is- this is very interesting."
Jake (as Tilly): Do you remember what language that it is similar to?
Scott (as alchemist): Well, how about- where did you get this? You said you were on a trip?
Jake (as Tilly): You could say that. Yes. Let's say it was in us the whole time. Is that is that fair? I think that's fair. So yeah, that's about right.
Scott (as alchemist): She looks at you with a strange face and she's like, "What does that even mean?
Jake (as Tilly): I wish I could tell you further. So I think what happened... I'm going to toss something across here and see if it phases you at all... Nidri. Does that mean anything to you?
Scott (as alchemist): No.
Jake (as Tilly): Nothing?
Scott (as alchemist): No. Is that that like the name of the person that gave you these runes? Or the place where you found it? What is that? Nidri?
Jake (as Tilly): Uhhh, I could be the place. Yeah, I guess you could say that. Well interesting. Well, thank you. I didn't catch your name. What was it again?
Scott (as alchemist): She says I'm Althea Mistrana and I own and run this establishment. So if you learn any more or want to talk any more, feel free to bring that notebook back. I can check some of my old tomes for cross-references, but I would be interested to work on that with you.
Jake (as Tilly): "Yes, I think that I would find that very suitable." And then I'm going to look around the shop and see if there's anything of interest as far as purchasing or, you know, if I can tell what she was doing with the skull perhaps.
Scott: Okay roll a- I guess an arcana or a nature check.
Scott: Which one did you roll?
Scott: Okay, you don't you're unable to identify the skull. You don't know what it is. But you think based on the tools that she has in a table and what she's doing to the skull that she's probably trying to collect some of the marrow that she's trying to collect some of the marrow potentially as a potion or spell component.
Jake (as Tilly): Does she have anything interesting on her shelves for sale or?
Scott: This is, as alchemist shop, it's mostly just supplies. So there's really not a lot of completed stuff in here. So you being a spellcaster, if you're looking for any particular spell components or anything like that- you can probably find them in here. She does have a small shelf that it has two potions on it. They are labeled as a potion of healing and a potion of flying. The potion of healing is listed at 48 gold and the potion of flying is listed at 498 gold.
Stephanie: Does the skull have bone marrow in it?
Scott: This one does.
Scott: It is not- let me make that clear. It is not any sort of human skull. It is a very large- this is definitely some sort of mythical creature or beast skull. S she is trying to crack it open and collect what is inside the skull and he's assuming it's marrow that doesn't necessarily mean that it is.
Jake (as Tilly): Well, Althea it was quite a pleasure to meet you. And if our fortune brings us together again, then hopefully we can have further discussions. Do you have any idea of where the most seediest, worst bar that probably nobody would ever go to is in town?
Scott (as alchemist): She says, "Well, we don't really have a seedy or terrible part of town, I guess, crime is pretty low here. It's a nice safe town to live in. But we do have I guess what people could call the slums, and there's a bar over there called The Mug and Wing but even then it's still a reputable establishment. It's run by a delightful friend of mine named Ivellios.
Jake (as Tilly): Would you say that if you were going to go get a day drunk on that's where you would go?
Scott (as alchemist): Probably. Yeah. If you were looking to not be judged for drinking at all hours. Ivellios, he loves his job, he loves the guests, and he's not going to turn down a chance for a discussion to anyone, no matter what they order so.
Jake (as Tilly): Perfect. I will be there if you need me.
Scott (as Tilly): She says two more tips that I have for you. Number 1: If you're really looking for someone to translate that, I suggest you head to the House of Eolas in Norwake.
Jake: Head to House of Elios in Norway?
Scott: Eolas. E-O-L-A-S. He is the god of knowledge and magic. And his temples aren't like- they're I mean they're the libraries. His temples are basically libraries and research centers. They're not really churchy. You don't go in there to pray, you go in there to learn. And that's how you pay your respects to Eolas. By seeking knowledge.
Jake: I think I would have known that because I think that as my God.
Scott: Probably but that doesn't mean you have like some sort of like 'Aha. I know where every Catholic Church is because I'm Catholic,' you know, that's not how it works.
Scott: So I mean, you know that the Temple Eolas. You're like 'Oh fantastic, there is one nearby,' but there's not one in this town. So, you know that that would be a good place to go do some scholarship studies.
Jake (as Tilly): So how far is Norwake from here?
Scott (as alchemist): Oh, if you head down there's two roads leaving town one follows the river and the other heads to the northeast direction. If you follow the northeastern road- just follow down that. You'll go through a number of villages. But it's approximately four days down the road. A four day walk. You'll pass through several villages along the way. And then the second tip I have for you is when you enter someone's shop try not to insult it.
Jake (as Tilly): Ah, yes. Thank you.
Scott: Tilly, you leave the alchemy store and you're heading on your way back to the bar and we're going to cut to there. So Tychus, Amos, and Gunny have sat down at the table with their drinks and food. And the last we left them, Amos mentioned that maybe we should come over here and have a discussion. So what do you- what are you guys talking about as you say that that table?
Steve (as Amos): I'm gonna say, "Look, I don't want to take away from the exciting time of having your first coffee, but a whole lot of weird things has happened to us very recently. We really need to kind of figure out what's going on.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Yeah.
Steve (as Amos): Not least of which, I mean, I know it's a forgery, but I always thought being a captain would be a happy time for me. It isn't.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh, no!
Steve (as Amos): Essentially, we lost we lost a crew member.
Stephanie (as Gunny): He's not dead yet!
Steve (as Amos): We don't know what's going on.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Is he? Did I miss something?
Steve (as Amos): I don't know. He might be okay. I just- I don't- there's a lot going on. A city disappeared... We need to just talk about the Fourman.
Stephanie (as Gunny): You just- You gotta look on the bright side Amos. You're- you're looking at all the bad things.
Scott *singing*: Always look on the bright side of life.
Stephanie (as Gunny): We've made a bunch of new friends! Right!
Steve (as Amos): "Things are- things are out of control. Like, what do we know?" I'm gonna take a big drink my beer.
Stephanie (as Gunny): We know that we put the blood back in Vantajar, so that should mean he's okay. And we know that Tilly's going to find things out because he's smart and boring. And we know that I get even stronger when I drink coffee! So that could be a good thing.
Jake (as Tilly): Wait, what?
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh, hi Tilly.
Scott: I love it. I like that.
Jake (as Tilly): You found coffee?!
Stephanie (as Gunny): Yeah, it makes me so strong!
Jake: Tilly looks at Amos and Tychus when she says that to see what their facial reactions are.
Steve (as Amos): I'm shaking my head no. "Yeah. She's-"
Alex (as Tychus): She's not lying. Yeah, it made a real strong.
Stephanie (as Gunny): It was really cool.
Jake (as Tilly): Cool!
Stephanie (as Gunny): Yeah. What'd you find out Tilly?
Jake (as Tilly): The shop really smelled bad. But, uh.
Stephanie (as Gunny): That's not what we sent you for.
Alex (as Tychus): I mean that sounds real useful to know. We can avoid that area of town.
Jake (as Tilly): Yeah.
Stephanie (as Gunny): What'd you find out about the runes? Which is what you are supposed to be doing....
Jake (as Tilly): Ah, yes. That's right. Yes. It's an ancient language.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Uhuh. Anything else?
Jake (as Tilly): Uh. No.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh. Any leads?
Alex (as Tychus): At least we know it's a language and not just random scribblings.
Jake (as Tilly): Yes! Yes, we can we can go to the house of Illios.
Stephanie: You said it wrong.
Jake (as Tilly): Eelas. Eolas.
Stephanie: My favorite deity Illiad.
Jake (as Tilly): My deity.
Scott: Your own patron deity.
Steve: His name is unpronounceable by... most people.
Stephanie: By mortals.
Jake (as Tilly): Yes. Absolutely.
Steve: Four letters long.
Jake (as Tilly): Eolas. It's five. But thank you.
Scott: It's less E-O-las and more Yolas.
Jake (as Tilly): E-O-las
Stephanie (as Gunny): Where's that? Is it here in town?
Jake (as Tilly): No, it's a four days walk.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh my goodness.
Jake (as Tilly): I would suggest that we had that way.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Can we ride on ponies there?
Jake (as Tilly): In Norwake?
Stephanie (as Gunny): No, can we ride on ponies to Norwake?
Jake (as Tilly): Oh.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Wouldn't that be faster?
Jake (as Tilly): I don't know that I would fit on a pony, but.
Stephanie (as Gunny): We'll get you a draft horse.
Alex (as Tychus): Do we know where Norwake is?
Jake (as Tilly): Yes, four days walk northeast of town.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Well, I guess Vantajar can recover at the temple and we can go figure things out and then come back?
Jake (as Tilly): "Well, we should- I mean it's been about-" and then I look at the wrist watch that I have and then look in awe because I have a wristwatch.
Steve (as Amos): How long's it been?
Jake (as Tilly): It's been an hour! Let's go look!
Stephanie (as Gunny): Bye Avlios, thank you for the coffee! We'll be back!
Scott (as Ivellios): Okay, please be careful with that coffee.
Alex: Before we go, I want to try something. How is my ale that he gave me? Is it any good?
Alex: I want to pull out that little potion of water needing.
Alex: And just put like a like a drop or two into it real quick. And then kind of swirl it around and drink it. Does it- do I feel thirsty?
Scott: Do you ever like take a bite of a lemon and then your mouth dries out afterwards?
Scott: That's what it feels like. You don't feel thirsty, but your mouth dries up.
Stephanie: It's like super sour?
Scott: No not that it's sour. It just dries his mouth out. Like when you- so when you- when you bite into a lemon- or you have the lemon in your mouth, it dries your mouth out and so like- just a relevant tip for podcasters: If you're running into a problem making too much mouth noises suck on a lemon and it'll help clear that right up. So you drink the drink and it dries your mouth out a little bit.
Alex (as Tychus): Okay. Tychus is gonna be like, "Well before we, you know, just go haulin' off to Norwake, you know, we should probably make sure we got everything- Our orders are all in affairs here. I mean, I just paid five gold to leave our boat at the docks. We should probably make sure that our boat doesn't get like stolen.
Scott: He's got a point- you guys have a boat...
Stephanie: So we should give the guy another five gold? To hold onto the boat?
Scott: You also have a wounded friend at a temple.
Jake: Yeah, we need to go get Vantajar
Steve: And it is probably time to check on Vantajar, even though we'll probably be leaving him here.
Stephanie: But is he gonna be good enough to travel?
Jake: There's only one way to find out.
Steve: I doubt it. We're gonna- Amos is gonna want to check on him.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Let's go see Vantajar.
Scott: So you guys go strolling back to the temple and you walk in and that same clerk comes up.
Stephanie (as Gunny): How is he? Is it bad, Doc?
Scott (as clergyman): He goes, "Well, whatever- his injuries were grievous. They went- they went deep into his core and damaged some of the internals. Fortunately he is stable and we think that he can make a fine recovery. For him to recover from this naturally, will take quite some time.
Stephanie (as Gunny): So he can't walk four days.
Scott (as clergyman): Oh most definitely he will be bedridden for weeks yet. But we do have magical healing available. But it is- it comes with a cost. So already for the services rendered we will ask for a donation of 50 gold.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh my God.
Scott (as clergyman): But if you would like us to magically heal him and then he would be back up to walking speed that would be an additional 50 on top of that.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Do you guys need any like physical labor done? Like I could lift patients and then put them back down and then you would pay me for it?
Scott (as clergyman): He goes, "Well since you're asking, we are planning on sending an envoy- there is a village farther inland to the east that we have heard reports that there's a potential plague outbreak and we were going to send an envoy. And if you would be willing, they would be happy to have an escort with them along the way and additional hands to help monitor the situation. If you were to travel along with them and do that, we would waive all fees.
Stephanie (as Gunny): All of them? All I have to do is go there with them? We don't have to come back?
Scott (as clergyman): Go there. Work with them. Help them out while they're there. And then escort them back. It will be a round trip.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Is it on the way- Oh round trip. How far is it from a town called Norwake?
Scott (as clergyman): Well, the village isn't very far from Norwake. But therein Norwake is to the northeast. This one is directly east. So they are not along the same route.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Yes, but say we escort them there and then we take a day trip to Norwake- or one of us does and the rest of us stays there- would not be in the realm of possibility?
Scott: (as clergyman): You would have to work that out with the envoy. If you plan to go with them, they are going to leave in two days.
Alex (as Tychus): How long they planning on being there?
Scott (as clergyman): It is hard to say. As I said, these are just initial reports of a potential plague outbreak, they could show up and find out it's just the flu, and at that point they would turn around immediately. But if it is a serious event, it could take several days, weeks, or sometimes months for them to get it under control.
Stephanie (as Gunny): What if we get sick while we're there?
Scott (as clergyman): Well, fortunately you'll be with the healers. I'm sure they will take fine care of you.
Stephanie (as Gunny): But will we have to pay them?
Scott (as clergyman): No. So long as you are offering your assistance to the people of Ashiati, you will be taken care of.
Steve (as Amos): Do they need just assistance getting there? Or do they need assistance once they're there? Like once we get to the town, do they need assistance while they're doing their work?
Scott (as clergyman): We cannot say from here. We just don't know. If you show up in the midst of a full outbreak, they will need every able hand they can to help tend to wounded. If it is a less. Let me finish, young lady. Let me finish. If you show up and it isn't that much of a problem, then I'm sure they might allow you guys to have your day trip.
Stephanie (as Gunny): I think we should go for it guys. We'll, save some money. We'll get to see a new place and make a bunch of new friends. We'll be helpful and we can do the rune thing!
Jake (as Tilly): Huzzah!
Alex (as Tychus): We should- we should discuss it.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Okay. I just discussed it.
Steve (as Amos): How bout, we have to come back this way anyway, because our ship is here. So how about we give you 50 gold to hold, and if we do make the round trip you give us the 50 gold back. If we go with them to the village but then end up going on our own to Norwake, you keep the 50 gold.
Stephanie (as Gunny): But it's a hundred gold if we do the magic part.
Scott (as clergyman): Yes, if you want to take him with you, it will be a hundred gold today.
Steve (as Amos): Unless we're traveling with the group, correct.
Stephanie: Well, if we come back.
Steve (as Amos): Like if we're offering our assistance...
Scott: The 50 gold- the 50 gold is to tend him to the point that he is now. He's not in walking condition. It will require another 50 gold to magically heal him so that he can come with you.
Steve (as Amos): Yes, I've gathered that.
Steve (as Amos): But we're saying...
Scott (as clergyman): You're willing to leave him behind.
Steve (as Amos): If we escort to this group there and back...
Scott (as clergyman): Yes.
Steve (as Amos): You waive all hundred gold worth of fees.
Scott (as clergyman): Yes.
Steve (as Amos): We're going to escort that group there. Which is half the job.
Steve (as Amos): So I'm going to give you 50 gold to hold. If we to escort them there, and they need our assistance, and once we're there we decide to escort them for the entire trip all the way back. You would give us back the 50 gold.
Stephanie: I see.
Steve (as Amos): If we don't. You keep the 50 gold. But since we've done half the job, we get you'd half the gold, and we'd get Vantajar today.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Ah, you are a good bargainer Amos! Do you think you can get me a deal on a scarf?
Steve (as Amos): Probably.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Yesss.
Scott (as clergyman): He says, "Look I don't want to make any assumptions about your character. But, I have no guarantees that if I heal your friend today, that you come back in two days to escort them.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Oh.
Scott (as clergyman): This is why we prefer to get the funding up front. People have taken advantage of the good graces of our fine institution and received healing promise to pay and then they don't.
Stephanie (as Gunny): That's not very nice of them.
Steve (as Amos): Then we will escort them on the entire round trip.
Scott (as clergyman): I'll tell you what, if you escort them there, and they come back and you've moved on to Norwake, we will complete the healing on your friend and tell him where you are, and we can forward him to your destination. Or it sounds like you have a boat in town, perhaps he can stay behind and look after that.
Steve (as Amos): Fair enough.
Alex (as Tychus): When we were sitting at the bar Ivellios, he mentioned that there was a group around looking for some assistance that Gunny might help with. Maybe we can make enough money there to you know, heal up the little dude. And then if we can't get that money in two days, we can decide what we want to do then. This gives us two whole days to come up with a hundred gold.
Steve (as Amos): We don't need to be taking- we don't need Vantajar of it come with us. I think I just want him to. It really makes no difference. If we go- if we go and take them, he can stay here. We'll be coming back this way anyway.
Stephanie (as Gunny): Guess that's true. We do have to come back for the boat.
Steve (as Amos): And we don't have to come up with any gold. We can just sign on to escort this group, and do what's needed, just a few more days and we'll be able to go on our way to Norwake.
Alex (as Tychus): "All right guys, I say we do the escort mission." Just call it a mission, how many video games that I played? "We do the task for 'em. Let's be honest with ourselves, it's never a bad idea to have some slight favor of the gods on your side for helping out their devoted followers."
Steve (as Amos): Agreed.
Alex (as Tychus): But we got two days until that caravan leaves.
*outro music- Bongos and guitar- upbeat, exciting*
Alex (as Tychus): I'm still kind of interested in making some coin on the side to see what Ivellios needed done. I already spent five gold more on our boat for the next seven days and sounds like we're gonna have to spend more than that. So we got to make some money at some point.
*outro music- Bongos and guitar- upbeat, exciting*
Shocking Gasp is a serialized actual play D&D 5e podcast. When an enigmatic being falls from the sky, four strangers investigate and find themselves on the run from a superhuman force. Now they must fight for their survival while attempting to unravel the mystery of who the being was and why they’re being hunted. New episodes released every other week on Tuesday at 6am EST. First time listeners advised to start at Episode 1 - Livin’ On a Prayer